“Divorce is probably as painful as death.” – William Shatner
One of Britain’s leading mediators, Mary Banham-Hall has helped more than 3,000 couples negotiate the divorce process. Over the course of her career, Banham-Hall has seen firsthand the bitterness and anger that affects kids whose parents can no longer remain married – the petty jabs and endless miscommunications, the illness and depression of the wife left behind, the heartbreaking sight of the oldest son forced into the role of a father and the youngest child who begins to wet the bed from trauma.
For nearly 40 years, Banham-Hall has seen horrific actions from parents towards their kids, including children heartlessly unfriended on Facebook by their mothers so a new romantic interest wouldn’t know she has children, a mother who wouldn’t allow her daughter’s pet hamsters to go with her when the child’s father won custody and teenage girls self-mutilating because their parents couldn’t stop fighting in front of them.
Due to the stress involved for everyone, divorce is often compared to death, but Banham-Hall takes it one step further:
“Divorce is worse than death, there’s no question. Why? People don’t generally choose death. Divorce also destroys the past you thought you had together, and there’s usually a fight – for resources and children.”
Although she has tried – and admittedly failed – to get clients to read text books, she’s desperate for couples to wake up to the unnecessary suffering they’re causing. Rather than watch self-help books get passed around, she decided to write a romantic novel titled “Love Lose Live” in which she tells a story of the collapse of marriage and the devastating effect on both the parents and their three children.
She believes that if more couples truly understood the utter devastation caused by divorce, more people would try harder to stay together or, at the very least, be more compassionate toward their spouse and children.
In many cases, spouses seek a divorce essentially because they feel bored or unfulfilled. According to Banham-Hall, “People have very unrealistic expectations that marriage is going to be like those heady first few years, rather than settling down and working at it the old-fashioned way.”
If you’re facing a family law matter or divorce and you need insight or help through the process, please contact the Law Offices of Silky Sahnan today at 888-228-1098 to schedule your confidential consultation, or visit us at legalservicesca.com for more information.