Planning for Life After Divorce

Divorce is never an easy process, yet planning ahead for the upcoming and inevitable changes in your life can serve to make the adjustment phase easier. Separating from a spouse will undeniably impact every aspect of life: from your finances to your emotional health. Couples with children will also need to be extra diligent to monitor the well-being of the kids as the transition from one household to two can be stressful for everyone involved. It’s also important that throughout this process you’re practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to sit with the grief but not dwell in a negative space.

We highly encourage anyone going through divorce to develop a support network to regularly check-in with you, keep you grounded, and in good spirits. To start off on a better path moving forward, it’s important that you set the intention to purposely work towards finding inner peace and renewed happiness. In the process of healing, we hope that you discover a stronger and more resilient self.

Planning Ahead Before Your Divorce

Whenever possible, planning ahead and working through the following issues with mindfulness and patience will make the process of divorce flow more smoothly. With that in mind, here are the top things that we advise you to prepare for:

1. Get your finances in order. Chances are you’ll have to make some adjustments in your day-to-day life to make your new situation work without the financial and/or domestic support of your spouse. Face the situation head on and do what needs to be done to meet your needs and the needs of any children involved.
2. Expect a period of grief. The divorce process involves a significant amount of loss and one cannot expect to fully heal without moving through the grieving process. Find a support group and/or therapist who is familiar with this situation. Be open to learning new methods which will help you cope and find closure before moving on to the next phase of your life.
3. Create a new story and plan for the future. Your life is going to change after divorce, but these changes can be for the better. Start visualizing the life you’d like to have in your mind’s eye, write your ideas down, and refer to them whenever you feel like you are losing focus. Developing a series of attainable goals (with a timeframe for each) will help you turn your dream into reality over time.
4. Inform your children of what is going to change. Children of all ages should be kept in the loop regarding any changes in the family structure that will impact their lives. Use simple, clear and non-blaming language that is age appropriate to explain that mommy and daddy will no longer be living together while reassuring the children that they will still have access to both parents.
5. Develop and maintain habits of self-care. Stress is an inevitable factor in a divorce, but excellent self-care practices can lessen any negative impact on your well-being. Cultivate healthy habits such as meditation, exercise, healthy eating and beyond to strengthen your body from the inside out and better prepare your mind for change and personal growth.

Small Steps Can Ease the Stress of Divorce

Instead of dealing with a landslide of overwhelming emotions all at once, preparing for life after divorce as soon as possible allows you to take small steps to heal and minimize the undue stress of this process. Whenever possible, maintaining an open line of communication with your former spouse can facilitate faster healing for all parties involved and is sure to ease the transition for children, so strive to remain mature and objective throughout the divorce process.

Additional Resources:

Rediscovering Your Confidence After Divorce
Reclaiming Your Identity After Divorce