Even though your marriage has ended – or is on the verge of ending – it may seem “too soon” to think about dating again. Then again, what are the spoken and unspoken rules about reawakening your romantic life? When is it considered acceptable to start dating once you’ve separated? When should you introduce someone new to your children? The following tips will guide you on your journey forward.
Take Time to Discover Yourself
Consider getting counseling when your marriage ends. You might need to address personal issues and look carefully at the deeper reasons for your divorce. The old adage holds true: he who fails to learn from history is doomed to repeat it. You might also want to take a self-improvement class or just pick up a hobby, besides playing video games and watching TV. Expand your horizons via a book club, church group, gym membership or class at a local college. You can meet others, both marrieds and singles, in these groups and find potential dates and matchmakers. Be willing to expand your horizons, and focus on yourself first.
Don’t jump the gun just because you are lonely. Even if you are separated, avoid dating while you are still married. No matter how your ex has behaved, wait until the courts finalize your divorce to get serious. Disclose any important new relationships to your divorce attorney, since your lawyer may need information about those relationships to plan your mediation or courtroom strategy effectively.
Wait to share intimate details about yourself until you know how involved you want to become with a new person.
Consider Online Dating
When you write up your dating profile, keep it light. Avoid giving out detailed information about your divorce or doing things like badmouthing your ex-spouse. At the same time, also avoid lying about your status or hiding what’s happening in your world. Again, strongly consider discussing the nuances of what to do and what to avoid doing with your lawyer.
Don’t Involve Your Children
Your children have dealt with enough upheaval due to your split. Wait to introduce them to a potential partner until you are serious, and you are ready. Avoid creating chaos in the house, particularly during a custody negotiation or battle, by bringing in a revolving door of women (or men). Before you introduce them to any new person, talk to them, and prepare them for the meeting. Answer their questions honestly, and address their concerns. Keep the first meeting brief, so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. Help them process their feelings about the new person.
Finding love after divorce is just one of many challenges you face in the months and years to come. Speak with our compassionate, effective California family law team today for insight about your options. Call the team at 888-228-1098 for a private case evaluation.